Defining True Beauty

We live in a world where attention is increasingly focused on the superficial.

Television programs which dot the airwaves dissect famous personalities according to their body parts, the clothes they wear or plastic surgical procedures.

Music videos attempt to shock us with bumps and twerks.  It seems that body rather than inner beauty continue to be the focus of our communal attention.

The Cantor and I often notice when we attend bar or bar mitzvah parties, how children who attend, often as young as 11 or 12, seem to be reaching towards some sexual dress code they have absorbed from MTV or other television programs. And it’s permitted.

As a culture, we seem to be losing our understanding of what true beauty is. 

In this week’s Torah portion, titled Lech Lecha (“Go Forth”), Abraham and Sarah begin a sacred journey.  God appears to Abraham and tells him to leave his home, and journey “to the land which I will show you.”

Abraham had no reason to comply.  He is a successful businessperson.  He owns a comfortable home with full modern amenities.

God guarantees him riches and children.  But ultimately, when God promises that he will “be a blessing,” Abraham agrees to move.

The inner message, notes our tradition, is that no person, even Abraham, should embrace complacency. It is a person’s perpetual mission to climb life’s ladder as we continue to grow as spiritual human beings.

Abram and Sarai, as they were known then, begin a journey which would eventually lead them to Egypt. 

Suddenly, as the couple approaches the Egyptian frontier, Abraham becomes concerned about his safety, and the safety of his wife.  Indeed, as strangers in a foreign land, it would have been easy for a lustful Egyptian to kill him, and “inherit” Sarah.

As Abraham and Sarah pause before entering Egypt, Abraham turns to his wife and utters the first sentence ever recorded in the Torah between a man and woman.

Abraham could have kept his concerns hidden.  Rather, he looks Sarah in the eye and speaks these words:  “I know what a beautiful woman you are.”

It is a sweet compliment, offered by a man to his wife, made ever more special by the fact that the Torah records Sarah’s age as 65.

It’s been a long journey. Desert winds have lashed their faces.  Their bodies are covered with sand.

Biblical commentators over time have reflected upon Sarah’s beauty.  She was so stunning, both inside and out, that she was eventually separated from Abraham and brought to Pharaoh’s court.

Yet in that poignant moment described in Genesis 12:11, the Torah provides us with a small but intimate window into the relationship between two human beings – Judaism’s first couple.

As we age, as life begins to grey us, or add a few pounds to our physique, it is easy to feel less desired.  We want to feel as young and vibrant as we did in our 20’s.

Yet, when two people love each other – their lives entwine.

The Torah shares this week one of the sweetest series of words we can direct at another human being.

Sometimes a little physical compliment can be so affirming.  It makes us feel attractive and desirable. Indeed, there is nothing wrong with providing another person with a physical affirmation.

And that cannot be achieved through tight clothing or the pursuit of an image found in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Maxim, or a music video.

Physical and inner light are meant to exist in harmony.  That is the true definition of human beauty.

It really does not take much to turn to someone in our lives, and affirm their true beauty. 

Indeed, beauty exists in our relationships, as we lift each other through the sweet and sensitive words we read this week in the Torah.

“What a beautiful person you are.”

We need to affirm to a new generation what true beauty is, and to reinforce that in others, no matter their age.

It requires so little, but it brings so much joy to someone we love.

Shabbat shalom, v’kol tuv

Rabbi Irwin Huberman