Hospitality as a Jewish Value

HOSPITALITY AS A JEWISH VALUE

There is a response in French which is often used when someone says "merci" for a favor you have performed for them.

It is customary to reply with the words "de rien" or "pas de quoi," which roughly translated means "it was nothing."

Even in English, when someone thanks us for inviting them for dinner, we often answer with the phrase, "it was nothing."

When we drive someone home from a meeting, or from a doctor's appointment, they will often turn to us and say "thank you, so much." And we often respond with "no problem."

But maybe those are the wrong words.

Within Judaism there is a sacred value known as Hachnasat Orchim (welcoming guests). This mitzvah extends from the threshold of our homes to the outside world as we attempt to ensure that when we perform a favor for someone, that that person feels valued, welcomed, and free of spiritual debt.

In last week's Torah portion, Abraham actually leaves the company of God, to perform the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim - the welcoming of three strangers to his home.

And in this week's Torah portion titled Chayei Sarah (the Life of Sarah), the Jewish bias towards hospitality is again reinforced.

This is the week that we learn of Sarah's death at the age of one hundred and twenty seven.

Abraham's attention now turns towards continuity. Realizing that his days are numbered, Abraham assigns his executive assistant, Eliezer to embark on a road trip to arrange the ultimate blind date for his son Isaac.

 Abraham extracts a vow from Eliezer that the woman he brings home for Isaac will not hail from the region where he currently dwells, but rather from Abraham's region of birth.

But there was more than home town nostalgia on Abraham's mind. Abraham instructs Eliezer to look for a woman who like Sarah exudes Hachnasat Orchim.

Abraham prophesizes that Eliezer will recognize "Miss Right" by her offer to provide Eliezer with water after his long journey and for his fleet of camel as well.

And according to plan, the women known as Rebekah emerges and fulfills the prophesy. She brings bucket after bucket of cool well water for Eliezer's entire entourage.

What a powerful message.

Over the past few thousand years, Judaism has inspired many rules and regulations. They often form the basis of how we view Judaism.

Yet this week, the Torah extends one of Judaism's core values from Abraham and Sarah, to the next generation of Rebekah and Isaac.

It is the value Hachnasat Orchim, the welcoming of the stranger.

It also inspires us to remember in our own lives that when we perform a mitzvah for another, how we react to the words "thank you" may be just as important as the good deed itself.  

Will we leave our friend or family member feeling that our kind gesture was "nothing" or will we elevate them with a message that it was our pleasure, and that their friendship and love mean so much to us.

Perhaps it's also a message for us as parents and grandparents, to teach the next generation that when a stranger comes into our home, to approach the guest with the words, "welcome to our home," or "can I hang up you coat?"

Earlier this month, I had the privilege of attending the one hundredth anniversary conference of the Conservative movementf. Many speakers shared their thoughts about how Judaism must evolve in the years to come. Much of that conversation centered on the idea of Relational Judaism.

It was a stimulating few days of discussion and I've returned with many new ideas.As I waited at the airport for my delayed plane to arrive for boarding, I wandered towards a small café to pass some time. As I looked around, all the tables were occupied. In come cases, one person sat at a table for four.

I waited and waited and waited, until I heard a senior citizen behind me utter the words, "Sir, you're welcome to sit with me." The invitation made me a bit uncomfortable. After all, this was a small table and there were only two seats.

At first, I looked down at my Blackberry and began returning emails. But then I looked up and said, "thank you for letting me sit with you," to which the woman replied, "no one should ever have to stand that long for a table. It was my pleasure."

And for the next half hour we talked about what brought us both to Maryland. I learned about her church in Florida and how much she enjoys praying there. I learned about her work. She is often called to testify at insurance fraud trials.

And when we left the table thirty minutes later, we were both a bit more enlightened than before.

Indeed, the idea of Hachnasat Orchim provides us with an opportunity to meet someone new and to venture outside our own comfort zone.

As Abraham and Sarah taught us last week, and Rebekah modeled this week, greeting the stranger, and offering them food, drink and a place to rest is a value which is entrenched in our tradition.

Let us look within our own circles. Do we make an outsider feel welcome in our world, and most importantly do we extend the hand of hospitality and friendship before we are asked to do so?

From that sacred tent in Haran, to that little coffee shop at the Baltimore airport, Hachnasat Orchim is as meaningful today as it was then.

Indeed, when we offer someone hospitality or perform a mitzvah for them, the deed we perform is more than "nothing."

In fact, the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim may be one of the most important acts we can perform in our lives.

For we remind the stranger that they are not alone, and that their friendship and companionship are important to us.  

Indeed, the privilege is ours.

Shabbat Shalom, v'kol tuv (with all goodness).

Rabbi Irwin Huberman